a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
my dad just got an instagram and it is full of nothing but shirtless pictures
wasssup doe………is your dad single………?
I see all these cute ppl all over my dash wearing overalls and I’m all “omg so cute I want a pair” but then like I remember this one time in 1st grade I was in the monkey bars and one of my straps got caught on one of the bars and I was hanging there and one of the janitors had to get me unstuck then I’m like
“nah”
the onion is having an existential crisis
one day my mom was yelling “LOOK I HAVE BALLS”
and i turned around and saw that
aka “don’t forget to close your html tags”
this is still great to me just open it and keep scrolling down
